Avid Editor's Insights

Classified

Posted by Glezele Vayne on January 29, 2010

BS”D

These classifieds actually ran in Minneapolis newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel,1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.

FREE PUPPIES…
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog — able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK
$300 — Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown – 89 cents/lb.

JOINING  NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the best one?

FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.

From Glezele Vayne

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